Im writing with so much regret, I really thought this was the one. He had so much potential, maybe small but his will of survival was so wonderful. He was right there, right at understanding, right at the ripe picking. I was going to explain the reason for it all, but he gave up, I am just so distraught, I really thought he was strong, strong enough to handle things here. However he gave into the beast side, he got weak, he failed me, such a disappointment.

He didn’t even understand Lilith like he thought, I am almost certain he thought the demon, I suppose his mind just couldn’t handle it like I thought. He just seem like he was the one and that I could head to Spain, but no I must keep searching. What’s worse is, I think the church is catching on, so I need to start targeting priest of other religions to keep them off my trail. I hear him screaming, it pains me, because restarting is so hard. Most can’t even make it to being turned, some die during the process, but him…he was unique.

Such a shame to see it happen, I only got this emotional back in Greece, mostly because it also hurt my lover. He cared for that human, he thinks I did it out of spite, but it was for my cause. I cared for them too and it hurt to see them waste away. This one reminded me a little of that priest in Greece, I don’t think my lover saw that, I know he saw the boy, hell he lead me to him. I was stalking him, I just needed to see him, just look at him from afar. I know we could never be ever again, but my heart still was there. That’s when I saw the priest, that I knew, he was the one or so I thought. When they parted ways I then stalk the priest, I took him. All that work, gone…..just disheartening.

I know my time short and I fear I will fail here, that Zagine fellow after me. His sire was sent after me by the council, but Lilith had sent someone to take care of him and his team. I know Zagine likely blames me and so I need to rid this priest fast and move to a new location, I hate abandoning here but I have too much at stake. I will try to get something to kill that priest fast so he suffers no more. I done enough to him and while no one will ever understand why, the council must be cut out. I have to get the people to see they do not care for us, the truth is in the fact they allow me to torture so many. I have watched so many suffer and be ignored, the council has failed us all. It is so painful to know, because my lover is part of that council, but he too is blind. So blind to the suffering, blind to even my needs. His life seems to only ever matter to that status, such a lonely life.

However I must hurry so that my cause can continue, I know the council if they knew the truth, would put more effort to stopping me. I am just a crazy fool at the moment, but I know they would never allow anyone to see this cause through, the corruption must be stopped. I just wish this priest had been stronger, I really thought he could do it. Hopefully the next one actually makes it.