Voltruist had lately been buried in his book, he was abit heart broken lately. Few months earlier he had gathered courage to confess feelings to his friend Tristan. They had spent alot of time together since the accident Tristan was in. Voltruist wishing he knew magic that he could maybe find the cure to his friends curse. Also been trying to avoid Zagine as he was in mourning and trying to hunt Tristan and Indigo down for the death of his lover. Voltruist over the years had gotten close to Tristan and thought he felt the same, as Tristan seem close to him. They really enjoyed each others company, laughed, shared moments [well he thought was moments] however it seem it was one sided. When he confessed he had developed feelings, Tristan told him he was still inlove with Indigo. It was always Indigo. No one picked him, not when Indigo was prettier, could show skin, was a whore [Voltruist was still furious with the event in which Val had horribly admitted his distaste for Voltruist in that way thanks to Indigo putting him on the spot].
Voltruist read the princess bride over and over and over, it was given to him by Tristan. It meant so much to him, he wish he find his Wesley, but he knew nothing like that happen for him. He dreamed though, to be saved, to have someone love him, to not always feel alone and unwanted. He been shirking his duties for a couple of weeks and Colins fear he might get bad punishment from the emotional Zagine. So he decided to drag Voltruist out, to check out the new bar Benjamin opened. It was said to be the hottest joint in the city, it was word of mouth and all that. So he made Voltruist leave the book, which he didn’t want to do, but reluctantly does so. They head off, leaving Lilian to tend to the church, she thought it was nice and good to get Voltruist out after having his feelings hurt yet again. Always seem like when the priest found someone he like, it never went well. The worst was the one Voltruist desperately wanted to protect and help, the mourner, who hurt him so badly with words. Lilian wanted to see him happy, but it was so rare to see genuine happiness in the priest. He smiled yeah, but it never reach far and there was so much sadness behind it.
They reached Pandora staring at the door in the alleyway “This is it? You sure?” Voltruist asked, he felt maybe Colins might be trying to kill him.
Colins stared at the door and looks at the address Benjamin gave him “Yeah this is it.” he confirmed “I guess I’ll knock. Its new so yeah and suppose to be secretive type.” he saw the unease of the priest “Look if its not the vibe, we will leave, but come on.” he knock on the door. A slot open and someone peaked, he saw the two priest looking fellows “Friends of Benjamin?” he asked. Colins sighs “Yeah we are.” the door open and they walk in.
It was so very different then they could suspect, there was lights, loud music, bar, and a crowd. It was definitely doing great, Colins knew the crowd was Vampire, though Benjamin wanted to expand to all Supernatural creatures. Colins got them a table “Here sit down and I will get us drinks.” he told Voltruist.
Voltruist sat there and gave a slow nod as he would watch Colins go to the bar and then watch the people at the dance floor, watching them have fun, seeing the couples, how they dressed. Most assume he wore layers to be a prude, but it was shame. Everytime he saw his body, the mutilated scars his sire left on him, he was reminded how alone he was. There was no one to save him, the horrors played in his head, he always pretended his sire was great and wonderful like he could take back the pain, the flashes of bad memories. He even tried forgiving his sire, to be a better person, it was expected of him anyways. He couldn’t get mad, he couldn’t get emotional or he be seen bad, lectured on how one must control themselves. He tried to not dwell on things he knew could never be, even if he wish to be loved. That was too much to ask, why ask that when asking for mercy as his sire torture him was ignored. He watch the people have fun, seeing the happiness, wondering what having friends is like? Yeah Colins hung around him, but he knew he was nothing but a babysitting job to him. Tristan was his friend, even if he wish for more, however Tristan was busy trying to find a cure for the curse he took for Indigo who fled.
Colins return sitting the drinks down and then sat down himself, he saw Voltruist staring out at the crowd “You want to dance?” he ask sipping his drink.
Voltruist stiffen and got anxious “What? No..I…I don’t know how to dance, I just…watching.” he told him. “Seeing all the couples.” he dare to admit.
Colins set his drink down ” Yeah…..listen um….you need to accept that uh…no one is really gonna like take a chance on you. Not willingly anyways….” he started.
Voltruist blink and slowly looked at Colins “What?” he was so confused, it was so random to hear that and yet not. It was just his fears being confirmed, he tried to keep even and not emotional.
Colins sighs ” Life not a story kid, no one going to look at you and fall head over heels on the spot. Thats not how it works anyways, plus you…..well…the veil. No one is going to take a chance on that and if they do its cause they want to use you. Like most likely they have to have an arm twisted….I’m not meaning to be so blunt, but if you keep dwelling on this and Zagine finds out…..it won’t end well for you.”
Voltruist looked away, he was right. No one was going to be inlove at first sight over him. He was covered in scars, he was mentally broken, he wasn’t well verse in bed. He couldn’t even flirt without looking like an idiot. He was no ones dream, yet hearing it just hurt so bad. He tried to not cry, he went take a big swig of the drink Colins got him.
“I know you also have a crush on Sanderson and um…yeah maybe keep that just a fantasy because he not going to notice you kid. Not how you want to be notice.” he told him.” I know we joke and such, but he is very into his position. ” Colins explains “I just…I brought you out here because you been very distracted and I’m looking out for you.”
Voltruist gave a nod, he just set the drink down and looked out at the crowd “I know, I’m unloveable…I get it.” he knew he wasn’t anyone choice, some people get happiness, but not him. Especially when he was trapped in his cage, he wish to be free. Voltruist stayed quiet and just sip his drink, no Wesley for his future. He needed to be practical, ideal, which was that he be alone. He long for a voice, to be heard, hell he wish he could look at himself and not feel repulse himself. Wishing he didn’t have scars, that he be pretty…maybe then….the scars could remind him that such is not his fate.
They later left the club and came back to the church, where Lilian went to greet them, but Voltruist moved past her and went straight to his room. She looked confused, the priest seem worse then when he left, so she turned her steel gaze at Colins “What did ye do?” she asked.
“What I just told him the truth Lil. ” he state as he move past her.
She move to cut him off “What truth?”
“He should stop trying to look for love. Come on Lil…you know its best. If he keeps going its just going to make him more depressed and if he pisses Zagine off.” he explains.
She gave him a hard glare “Colins you arse. That isn’t for you to just destroy….he barely has anything to hold on to. You could have humor him.”
“Humor him? You believe same as me, no one is going to want him. It will just be easier this way.” he told her.
“You promised Michael…” she started.
“I promised I keep the kid alive, thats it. If he wants his little regret so bad……its not our fault he ruined his relationship with Stephan and that priest all he has as a tie to him.” he snapped. “I am doing my job….” he walk off.